


Should've Let Me Go

by anonymityofaturtle



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hallucinations, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Odin's Bad Parenting (Marvel), Pre-Avengers (2012), Protective Frigga (Marvel), Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27663427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymityofaturtle/pseuds/anonymityofaturtle
Summary: Pre-Avengers: What if they saved Loki on the Bifrost before he fell into the Void. Now his family is left to pick up the pieces. Lots of whump. Trigger warnings inside.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	Should've Let Me Go

**A/N:** You may ask, “Anonimityofaturtle, why are you writing another story when you have 4 other WIPs” The answer is my dumb ass has too many ideas and can’t stay on just one story b/c ADHD. I think jokes on ADHD are very offensive. It sucks! Every day I jump back and forth on which story can hold my attention long enough for me to write SOME of a chapter. 

*gets off of soapbox* 

*** **Trigger Warnings** are at the bottom of the chapter before my Author Notes -that way I don’t spoil the story. 

.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.— 

Chapter 1: Should’ve Let Me Go 

Loki dangled from the Bifrost. The only thing keeping him from falling into the abyss was his hold on Gungnir. Thor held the other end of the spear as Odin gripped him by the leg. 

“I could have done it, father!” Loki cried out as tears streamed down his face. 

“I could have done it…,” he repeated, voice cracking, “For you… for all of us!” 

Odin paused. He looked down at his youngest son. It was hard to believe his youngest son genuinely thought that killing a whole race would please him. Has his son gone truly mad? 

As the silence continued as they hung in midair, the All-Father finally spoke. 

“No, Loki.” 

The look on Loki’s face changed. There was no more anger, no more sadness. It was almost like a neutral mask was put on his face. The only thing that proved any sense of emotion was the tears. 

The youngest god lightened his grip on Gungnir. His hold slid down the spear, almost to the end. 

Thor saw that motion, eyes wide in shock of what he was seeing. 

“L-Loki, no!” he called out to his brother. 

His brother didn’t listen. Loki just stared up at Odin, face still masked. 

Then, he let go. 

“Nooo!” Thor screamed and tried to reach out with his other hand to grab Loki. His attempts were useless as his brother started to descend into the void. 

Odin quickly pulled Thor back onto the Bifrost. Grabbing Gungnir from Thor’s hand, the All-Father pointed the spear down at his falling son and cast a levitation spell. The weapon glowed a bright gold before shooting down a string of magic. The spell surrounded Loki in the golden light and stopped his fall. Slowly but surely, Odin lifted up Gungnir. This the magic to pull Loki back up to the bridge. 

Thor crawled to the edge of the Bifrost and looked down, not knowing what his father was doing. 

“Father, Loki-“ he whispered. 

“I’ve got him,” the All-Father interrupted calmly. 

In a matter of seconds, Loki was back on the bridge. As soon as the spell dissipated, he was crushed in an embrace by his older brother. 

“Loki!” Thor choked. He held Loki tightly, “Please! Please never do that! I’ll do whatev-“ 

Before Thor could finish, a fist connected with his jaw. He stumbled back in shock. Thor looked up, clutching his bruised face. His younger brother was standing there, fist balled so tight bled, angry tears still present on his face. 

Loki directed his attention from Thor and whipped his head to face the All-Father. 

“Why did you do it?” he growled, “Why save a traitor, a Frost Giant, such as I?” 

Odin started, “Because you are my son.“ 

“I AM NOT YOUR SON!” Loki screamed back with all his might. 

The All-Father sighed. His shoulders grew heavy at the sight of his youngest son glassing back at his in such disgust. 

“Not of blood, yes. But it doesn’t matter.” 

“OF COURSE, IT MATTERS!” Loki bellowed, more tears falling down his cheeks, “I’M A MONSTER!” 

Just then, a hand rested gently on Loki’s shoulder. It was off his older brothers. He recovered from his initial shock of Loki’s attack and came back. 

“You are not a monster, Loki,” Thor said in sheer honestly. To hear his brother, speak with such self-hatred hurt him. 

Loki shook his arm free of his grasp as soon as Thor finished speaking. Thankfully, no physical violence followed that. Instead, it was much more disturbing. Loki let out a laugh but with no humor behind it. 

“And what is this newfound love of those **_beasts_** , Thor?” Loki snapped, “Not long ago you bragged of your slaying of them!” 

Loki was not wrong. That trip to Jötunheim was a trip to do just that. But, at the same time, was nowhere near as extreme as Loki’s plan to wipe them all out. 

“I have changed,” Thor stated, which was also true. His banishment to Midgard changed him. The thunder god had a new appreciation for all the realms people, for life in general. 

“Really?! A few days on Midgard have changed you that much?” Loki challenged that statement but didn’t allow his brother to say anymore. His attention was back on Odin. 

“I could have done it!” he yelled, “I could have destroyed them all! Every single one of those **_hideous creatures_ **would have died if you and Thor didn’t stop me!” 

“You cannot kill an entire race, Loki,” the All-Father said in a calm but matter-of-fact tone. 

“No?” Loki laughed darkly, “You attempted that in the war. The same war you **stole** me!” 

“That is not true,” Odin frowned. 

“YES, IT IS!” Loki snapped back. 

“You put false words in my mouth.” 

Loki opened his mouth to call out his lie but ended up snapping his jaw shut. It was no use. It was clear no one saw his way. He was alone. He’s always been alone. 

As Thor stood a few feet away, Loki looked down at the Bifrost below him. Even though the bridge was solid underneath his feet, fractures littered the area from the result of Mjolnir’s blows. How the god wished the Bifrost were to just crumble under him now. 

“If you won’t let me kill all of them,” the trickster said. He paused for a minute as a sad look of determination spread across his face… 

“At least I can kill _one_ of them.” 

Loki shut his eyes and made a mad sprint towards the Bifrost edge. 

_This is the only thing I can do right._ he thought. 

__

Loki’s attempt was cut short quickly by Thor grabbing the end of his cape. It snapped the younger brother back. Loki fought to keep his footing. __

“Loki! Stop!” Thor cried, “This isn’t-“ 

Before Thor could finish, Loki summoned a dagger and cut his green cape loose. He continued his dash towards the edge. It was too late to stop now. Thor, however, wasn’t going to let that happen. He was able to catch up and bear hug around Loki’s torso, pinning his arms to his sides. Thor hosted him into the air to keep him from running. The dagger dropped and skidded off the edge of the Bifrost, lost forever. 

“LET GO OF ME!” Loki screeched. His attempts failed as his brother only held him tighter and backed them away from the edge. 

“No!” Thor yelled back, “I will not let you do this to yourself, brother!” 

“I AM **NOT** YOUR BROTHER!” Loki screamed. The god pulled his head forward before slamming it back to headbutt Thor in the face. The impact caused Thor to loosen his grip enough for Loki to slip his elbow enough to deliver a blow in the gut. The older brother lost his grip and stumbled backward. Loki fell from his grasp and landed painfully on his side, unable to catch himself in time. 

“ENOUGH!” Odin roared. The booming echo of it got the attention of both of his sons, “This is _madness_ , Loki. You will stop this **now**!” 

Loki peeled himself off the ground. The young god looked a mess. His cape torn to shreds and tears still streaming down his face more than ever despite the mad look in his eyes. 

“If you won’t let me die,” he said almost quietly. He turned to Thor and got up on his feet, “I’m taking **him** with me!” 

Loki lunged at Thor and conjured out another dagger. Thor only stood in shock as his brother charged forward, intent on slashing his throat. Before the knife could touch Thor’s neck, a bolt of energy cascaded towards the brothers and exploded straight on Loki’s chest. The blast caused him to go flying down the Bifrost. The younger god landed in a crumpled heap on the bridge, unmoving. 

Thor stood horrified before he turned to see where the blast came from. Odin stood there Gungnir aimed, the tip of the spear smoked with spent magic. 

“Did you just…” Thor breathlessly tried to speak. 

“I aimed for his armor. He should just be stunned,” the All-Father explained as he set the butt of the weapon back down on the ground. 

Thor quickly rushed to his brother’s still form. Loki laid on his side, face slack and not masked in agony like before. His face was powered in soot from the outward energy blast to his chest. Thor thanked the Norns to see Loki was still breathing. 

“B-brother?” Thor called to him, lightly shaking his sibling’s shoulder. 

When no response came, Thor carefully rolled Loki to lay on his back. The sight caused the older god to gasp. Loki’s golden chest-plate was now completely blackened from the blast of Gungnir. Some parts even crumbled off as Thor lightly touched the area. The armor took some of the hit, but it was clear it still did damage underneath. 

“He is injured,” Thor looked to Odin in shock. 

The All-Father approached his sons and looked down at his youngest. The blast did indeed hit the target, but the armor was not as sturdy as it appeared to be. Nonetheless, Odin had to do it. It was the only way to stop him from killing Thor. 

“They can treat him in the dungeons,” Odin stated calmly. 

Thor immediately gawked at him, lost for words. Even though Loki had caused irreparable damage, the dungeons were no place to treat an injury. He needed a healer. He needed to be brought to the healing chambers. 

“No. No,” Thor shook his head, “He should be brought to Eir, not the dungeons!” 

“Do you not remember, boy?!” Odin shouted, voice raising with anger, “Loki tried to commit **genocide**! He just tried to kill **you**!” 

The All-Father took a weary breath to calm down; anger will get them nowhere 

“He’s a threat,” he continued, “His magic must be bound.” 

“Then bind it if you must!” Thor added in quickly, “But he should be brought to the healing wards!” 

Odin paused in thought. He looked towards his oldest pleading eyes before his gaze fell to his youngest on the ground. Every time he glanced at the injury, he swore it looked worse. 

“Very well,” the All-Father agreed before turning to face back to Asgard, “But we must hurry.” 

Thor responded quickly to his father’s commands. Ever so carefully, he slipped his arms under his brother’s prone form and lifted him into the air. Thor took note of just how light he was. Back when he was fighting with him, he didn’t have time to notice. 

Odin had already started back towards Asgard. Thor followed quietly a few paces behind him. Every so often, he’d look down to check to see if his brother was still breathing. 

It was going to be a long walk back. 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- 

*** **Trigger Warning:** attempted suicide 

**Next Chapter:** Hidden Hatred 

**A/N:** Noticeably short chapter compared to my problem/not problem(?) of making chapters 5k to 7k words long. The second chapter is already a third of the way done. 

On another note. I truly found it quite OOC for Thor’s whole demeanor to change so drastically just from being on Earth. I’m glad Loki did question that in the movie. I still find it odd though. 

_Word Count: 1,862_

_Ch. Posted On: 11-21-20_

_Updated On: 0-0-20_


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